Thank you for making me realize my dream again

"Why did you choose this field?" Without a pause, I told him, "because I really wanted to": Hahaha! I knew why he brought up that question, because most often, people from our department only choose this degree on a whim just to obtain the qualification or maybe due to parental influence. But I know my decision was deeply rooted because I have always loved what I do.

I started tweaking Friendster layouts with CSS when I was a sophomore in high school -| was 13 to be exact. I wandered from Multiply, Tumblr to teaching myself HTML, CSS. In 2010, I started creating custom Friendster themes for public consumption at friends- layouts.com, a website offering hundreds of layouts for Friendster users.

I once dreamed of where I am now when I was younger, but how did I forget about all that?

When I was starting out in my career, I have always marketed myself as a Front-end Developer because of the primitive notion that design is just pushing pixels, and being a developer is way cooler. However, as I delved deeper into the field of design, I learned it is more than what I thought it was. It was something more. Building a seamless experience for the user and much more is like building a better future.

But when I joined a FinTech company where I only focused on design, it didn't feel fulfilling. I felt incomplete. I was trying to grasp what it was but I didn't know how to get there.

It wasn't easy, but when life gave me a ""win"", I didn't know what to do with it because it wasn't what I wanted, and it wasn't what I expected. But how is life going to give me the wins I want if I can't handle the wins I don't expect?

But I've always had this image of a very creative and sophisticated developer and I want to be her. Well known in the field for her beautiful work but mostly known for the impact her works have. Because her work actually solve real world problems and makes things easier for people.

So, how do I get from point A to point B?

I know how difficult it is for women like me to break into the tech scene.

I enjoyed learning and growing in design at the expense of my technical proficiency, which has slowly diminished.

I felt like I was back to square one. I had to relearn the process.

I know I have talked a lot about my worries about the future and career in this blog, and it felt reassuring how right now, I am here. To were I want to be, and I couldn't be more grateful.

All I could think of was what to do next? How to improve? How to become the person I want? This is all just a jumble of words, but I know I shouldn't stop. I just have to keep going.

Though I still have a lot to learn and catch up on, but I am making progress.

And so, thank you to my two masters for making me realize my dream again :')

Thanks for making it a lot more bearable and fun. You guys have been so supportive and patient and I feel so so so lucky that our paths have crossed.

I love you both.